As I sit here typing this, I realize that I have lived in North Carolina for just over 3 and a half years. It's tough to comprehend all that's taken place in nearly 4 years since moving from Pennsylvania. To say that my life has been something like a roller-coaster during this time would not be far off, though it might be relatively cliche. I never would have thought that when I felt God leading me to move that He would also eventually lead me to join a band called "Attalus", or that while in that band He would give me the chance to play shows with bands that I grew up listening to, which no doubt, were a big part of the reason I longed to play music in a band from the time I learned how to play guitar.
I suppose I'm feeling nostalgic for a number of reasons. Namely, last weekend I spent some time with my family at my brother-in-law's family's farm house in Harrisonburg, VA. This is the third year that we have all met together for a weekend in November. We were struck by the thought that the first year we were there, my dad was still working at BBC and praying about the possibility of getting back into a local church as a pastor. That same year, I was still living in the Charlotte area and once a week would take care of my nephews, Chail and Rocky. It's crazy how much they've both grown in 2 years' time. Another reason, I would guess is the fact that I'm approaching my 28th birthday. It seems the older I get the more I realize how little I truly know. I don't mean for that to sound sad, depressing or that I'm looking for sympathy, so much as I am coming to a better understanding of the fact that anything and everything I have in this life is a blessing from God.
The simple truth is that the only thing I (we, really) deserve in this life, is the one thing that God has spared me from - an eternity separated from Him. It's one of those things that just doesn't make any sense. It can be explained and read over and over that God saves us because of His love for us, and I get that, but at times it can just be so difficult to get why He would even love us, especially enough to have His Son take on the death that we deserved. The best I can make of it is that God has a specific purpose for my life, to honor and glorify Him and share His love and what He's done with others who don't know Him.
That is the reason that I've always wanted to be in a band. To make music with the express purpose of reaching out to those who don't know Him and may have never heard the Gospel, while also encouraging those who do. It is beyond humbling to me that God would allow me to be involved in Attalus. I don't believe I can adequately describe how unworthy I often feel to have this opportunity. To go one step even further, we are currently recording a "hymns/modern hymns/worship" album, the proceeds of which will go toward building Christian schools in Africa with the purpose of giving orphans a place to live, learn, and God-willing, come to know Christ. That God would choose any of us to be able to help in such a way is hard for me to truly comprehend, but I am so thankful to be a part of it!
In closing, I just began studying the book of Philippians this week and was struck by chapter 1, verses 9-11 (I found it incredibly encouraging and challenging and decided to text it to a few of my friends and so I hope it will do the same for you):
And it is my prayer that your love may abound more and more, with knowledge and all discernment, so that you may approve what is excellent, and so be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God.
(Philippians 1:9-11 ESV)
