Dear Bitter Brother or Sister

I've noticed a trend among a lot of believers for nearly a decade now. There seems to be a growing spirit of regret, anger, and bitterness, in regard to life circumstances, but especially directed at the college many of us attended or even graduated from. I'm guilty of the first one many times, but I do not understand what often appears to be almost hateful sentiments toward the second. I know, maybe I'm biased having grown up around BBC for almost my entire life and being a faculty brat. Truthfully, maybe I should be bitter. After all, I have a youth ministry degree that I am currently not using, nor have I used since graduating. I wasted four years of my life there, right? Wrong! I thank God for my time at BBC. I would not be who I am today without that time, those friends, and the professors who poured their lives into so many of us during our time there. Without my time at BBC, I almost surely would have walked away from God by this point in my life (sadly, I know that a few have done just that and might even say in spite of or because of their time there). Don't get me wrong, I know that God has kept me, but He used people, classes, situations to prepare me for life after BBC. It hasn't been perfect, I made mistakes and really struggled with loneliness, especially for the two years I lived in Charlotte. But God used my time at BBC to teach me how to ground myself in His Word, and without that, I know beyond doubt that my life would be different for the worse. I can't say and don't know for most people why they are so bitter towards BBC, though money, differences in philosophy and theology, disagreements with other people, and poor treatment of some faculty seem to be at least some good guesses. My question for you is, do those poor experiences make God any less sovereign? Did those things take Him by surprise? Were those things so bad that they outweigh anything good that happened? Some of you met your spouses there. Would you rather have not met him or her? 

I'm going to admit somethig pretty ridiculous and kind of embarrassing. When I decided to enroll at BBC as a junior in high school, I thought I knew exactly how the next 5-6 years of my life were going to go. I'd probably date a girl or two before meeting the girl I was going to marry by junior year. We'd get engaged and then get married after graduation, where I'd get a job as a youth pastor somewhere in New York, Ohio, or Michigan, and then live happily ever after with a few kids and maybe a dog or two. Needless to say, that's not remotely how my life has gone. Are there times when I wish it had? Rarely, but when I think about those things I don't have that many of you do, and seem to take for granted (just my perception when I see seemingly regretful language used in regard to attending our alma mater). But honestly, I'm so grateful for the life God has lead me to live since my time at BBC. I literally lived a dream of mine by playing in a band, sharing Christ with people. That never would have happened if I hadn't gone to BBC, where I met Seth Davey and played music with him. If I had married a girl from BBC right after graduating, I most likely wouldn't have been able to live that dream. 

If you're still reading, you may be wondering, "Amos, what is your point?" My point, dear brother or sister, is that I want to offer you some perspective. Proverbs 16:9 says,"The heart of man plans his way, but the LORD establishes his steps." This verse has become an anchor to God for me over the last year and a half. We all had plans and goals when we were young. We thought we knew how our lives were going to go, and when they didn't go that way, we got mad.

19 You will say to me then, "Why does he still find fault? For who can resist his will?"

20 But who are you, O man, to answer back to God? Will what is molded say to its molder, "Why have you made me like this?"

21 Has the potter no right over the clay, to make out of the same lump one vessel for honorable use and another for dishonorable use?

22 What if God, desiring to show his wrath and to make known his power, has endured with much patience vessels of wrath prepared for destruction,

23 in order to make known the riches of his glory for vessels of mercy, which he has prepared beforehand for glory-

24 even us whom he has called, not from the Jews only but also from the Gentiles?

Romans 9:19-24

I know this passage is about salvation and election, but I think it still applies in this case. God has chosen each of us and has a plan to use each of us in His own way and for His glory, as He sees fit. Meaning, He may have us do things or endure things that we don't like. Who are we to say,"God, how could you let me do that, or go there?" There were reasons we all went to BBC. To be clear, BBC is not, nor ever has been, nor will be perfect. I am no longer dispensational. I still think it's ridiculous that we weren't allowed to go to movies, have facial hair, and wear jeans to class - all things current students enjoy, by the way. I know of (don't we all?) quite a few situations involving sin that were not dealt with by those in authority. I know of students who were seriously hurt by the words or actions of some in positions of authority. Lest you think I'm letting a bias completely cloud my memories of BBC. But one way or the other, I think God used BBC to sanctify each and every one of us. For some it was a difficult and painful process, while others, it was a joy and delight. 

If you are one of those who was hurt at BBC, please know I don't excuse that. But let me ask you this, does any anger or bitterness you have against a brother or sister in Christ really help you? I know it hasn't helped me.